1 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:24,458 Do they really expect us to take an anthropology class at 8 AM? 2 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,960 Huh, tell me about it, man. I don't even wake up before noon. 3 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,162 Pfft! 4 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,731 Tell you, the only reason I'm here is because of her. 5 00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,316 But, her, too. 6 00:00:32,341 --> 00:00:33,609 Yo! 7 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,036 You missed the redhead over in the third row. 8 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,938 Ahhhh. 9 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:41,375 Uh, bet you this professor guy is a real loser. 10 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:42,643 Oh, yeah. 11 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,645 He's probably spent half his life chasing pygmies 12 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,214 and those women who wear hula hoops through their noses. 13 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,716 You can do that in L.A. 14 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:55,556 Hey listen, I got a copy of his midterm. 15 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,424 - You want it? - Are you kidding? 16 00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,359 Nah, I normally charge like, $50 for that sort of thing, 17 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:02,062 but for you, uh, how about $20? 18 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,497 Sure! 19 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,702 - Thanks. - Hey. 20 00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,942 Hello, and welcome to Cultural Anthropology. 21 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,646 I'm your host, Professor Jeremiah Lasky. 22 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,719 Now before we begin, a word of caution. 23 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,355 There may be some unscrupulous people around here 24 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:31,225 that are actually trying to sell my midterm. 25 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,560 Don't bother. Its bogus. 26 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:37,030 But of course, you're all too smart for that, aren't you? 27 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,902 Does anyone want to buy a midterm? 28 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,316 Fasten your seat belts, because we are going on an adventure. 29 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,851 I'm going to take you to New Guinea 30 00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:33,520 where we'll study the marriage rituals of the Tehanbuli tribe, 31 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:36,523 who often take up to as many as 16 wives. 32 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,625 Will you, you, and you marry me? 33 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,394 - Yes. - Yes. 34 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:41,929 Oh, yeah. 35 00:02:43,536 --> 00:02:44,729 Don't let it go to your head. 36 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,633 Some people will do anything for a grade. 37 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,001 Shh! 38 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,003 Excuse me? 39 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,773 How do you spell Tehanbuli? 40 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:55,309 - It's not important. - Well, will it be on the final? 41 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,343 No. 42 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,278 Will there be a pop quiz on it? 43 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:03,016 T-E-H-A-N-B-U-L-I. 44 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,718 Thank you! 45 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:06,853 He's so cute! 46 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,989 I wonder what his sign is? 47 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,424 Virgo. 48 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,795 But enough about me. 49 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,663 Let's find out what you know. 50 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:19,066 Ah, you from the Calvin Klein ads, 51 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,701 what is anthropology? 52 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,102 Well, 53 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:25,672 anthropology is the-- 54 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:28,108 Screech, Screech, he was talking to me. 55 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:34,548 Um, what's anthropology? 56 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,917 It's the study of humankind. 57 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:37,918 Right! 58 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,686 Ah, you, Mr. $20 lighter, 59 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,456 for a chance to win a copy of the real midterm, 60 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,925 who was Margaret Mead? 61 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:47,694 Isn't she the cafeteria lady with the hairnet? 62 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,297 No, sorry, that's Clara Mead. 63 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,665 - Ah. - Hey! 64 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,001 Ah, let's give somebody else a chance, shall we? 65 00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,371 All right, take it. 66 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,538 Ah! 67 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,674 Margaret Mead was a pioneer in anthropology 68 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,676 who wrote the "Coming of Age in Samoa." 69 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,078 Clara Mead discovered tuna pudding. 70 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,681 - Great, what's your name, kid? - Samuel Powers. 71 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,249 Oh sure, by the way, I loved your book, 72 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:10,984 "I'm OK, You're an Aborigine." 73 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,352 You read my book? 74 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:13,987 Oh, no, no, don't get so excited. 75 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,390 He also read, "Garfield Goes to the White House." 76 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,891 Ha, me, too. 77 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:20,894 All right, first assignment, buy my book. 78 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,429 I need the money. 79 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,336 Listen, if I got to buy your book, can I at least have my $20 back? 80 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,805 Mm, tell you what-- 81 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,107 here's five. 82 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:35,776 Buy it used. 83 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,517 Lasky's incredible. 84 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,752 He's the most dynamic teacher I have ever seen. 85 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,854 And of course, he's a Virgo. 86 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,290 Uh-huh. With a wacko rising. 87 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,127 Well, I know about you guys, but I was totally confused. 88 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,929 Oh, no, no, no, no-- with good reason. 89 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,965 This guy has taken one to many blow darts to the head. 90 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,501 Could someone pass the rolls, please? 91 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,070 Thank you. 92 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,173 Professor Lasky is amazing. 93 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,443 He's so charismatic and so sexy. 94 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,478 Lasky? Sexy? 95 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,280 He's a professor. 96 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:16,016 Exactly! Brilliance is sexy. 97 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:19,119 - Aw. - Funny is sexy. 98 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,522 Confusing is sexy. 99 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,293 Hey! Even I want to take the guy home! 100 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:29,262 Oh! 101 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,298 Kelly, were you going to finish this danish? 102 00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,733 Not now! 103 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,668 What's with the pig out? 104 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,337 Well, I've got to gain six pounds by Friday. 105 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,573 Coach said if I can get myself into the next weight class, 106 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,374 I can wrestle against USC. 107 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,443 - You get to gain weight? - Uh-huh. 108 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,579 Life is so unfair. 109 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,448 I have to lose two pounds immediately. 110 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:51,651 You see, for an actress, it's that Tori Spelling look that's in right now. 111 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:52,953 None of that... 112 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,726 Come on, two pounds is hardly going to hurt you. 113 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:03,363 Yeah, that's what Delta Burke said before she inhaler first cheesecake! 114 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,035 Hey, Screech. 115 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,772 Mike Rogers is looking for you, and he is really ticked. 116 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,174 Oh, no. Slater, I'm a dead man! 117 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,077 He must have found out I shrunk his best silk shirt in the dryer! 118 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,246 Screech! You in there? 119 00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:20,680 Ooh! 120 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,086 I haven't seen him anywhere. 121 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,792 Is he gone? 122 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:32,859 Yeah. 123 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,995 Aw, thanks, Slater. Ahh! 124 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:38,732 Powers! 125 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,567 I've got a computer problem. 126 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,102 A computer problem? 127 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,904 Oh, that's great. 128 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,907 Hey, I've got a shirt just like this. 129 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,379 Anyway, I finally break down and buy a computer, 130 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,314 then I realize it's not compatible. 131 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,615 With what? 132 00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:58,118 With me. Look at these hands. 133 00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,353 What do they suggest to you? 134 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,722 Death by strangulation? 135 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,059 Sure, they were great for crushing Joe Montana, 136 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,628 but just try typing with these fingers. 137 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,397 Let me see your hands. 138 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,201 Oh, beautiful. 139 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,337 Now those are the fingers of a sickly young girl. 140 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:19,806 Thanks! 141 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,441 Hey! 142 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,743 They're perfect for typing my new book. 143 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,045 You're writing a book, sir? 144 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,547 Well, I've got a publisher who's interested. 145 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,083 It's about my life in the NFL. 146 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:33,887 I'm calling it, "The Other Side of the Jock." 147 00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:36,523 Provocative! 148 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,125 I'd be happy to put it on my computer for you, sir. 149 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,761 And perhaps you could help me in return. 150 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:45,098 You know, I've never been fully satisfied with my physique. 151 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,666 No kidding? 152 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:49,569 Tell you what -- 153 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:52,472 you help me with me book, I'll help you bulk up. 154 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:55,942 So you want to be like, huge or super huge? 155 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,411 Actually, sir, I'd just like to be able to lift the toilet seat 156 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,013 without getting a hernia. 157 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:06,820 Now remember, every culture has some form of courting ritual. 158 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,689 The challenge of this demonstration is to get Leslie, the female, 159 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,158 to go off with Zack, the smart mouth. 160 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,995 But, like primitive man, you cannot use language. 161 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,162 No words. 162 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,597 No problem. 163 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:24,137 Hmm, as, we see the male is letting the female know of his interest. 164 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,940 He is saying, my cave or yours? 165 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,042 Any darn place works for me. 166 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,176 Ha-ha. 167 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,412 No words. 168 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,514 Ah, look at the female. 169 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,883 Mm, alas, she is not responding. 170 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,952 She is saying, hey who needs him? 171 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,755 I date a guy in my tribe who's got his own wheel. 172 00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:44,758 This is stupid, all right? It's a waste of time. 173 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,426 This whole class is a waste of time. 174 00:08:46,507 --> 00:08:47,894 Mr. Morris, 175 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,031 I'd like to see you in my office today at 5 o'clock. 176 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,622 Uh-huh, come in. 177 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,629 So, do you live in your office? 178 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,097 Only during the week. 179 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,565 On the weekends I live in my van at the beach. 180 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,866 Ha ha ha. 181 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,436 I like you, Zack. You're pretty sharp. 182 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,039 But I get a sense that you have no interest in anthropology. 183 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,342 Actually, sir, I have nothing against anthropology, 184 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,177 it's just, I don't see what it has to do with my life. 185 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,346 Ah, ah, but you will, my lad. You will. 186 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:42,882 For instance, had you paid attention to my lecture on courting rituals, 187 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,517 you'd learn a lot more about women. 188 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,486 It seems to me you're a little, uh, 189 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,221 clunky in that area. 190 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,656 Ha ha ha! 191 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,092 Me, clunky with women? Oh, no, no, no. 192 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,595 You see Professor Lasky, if there's anything I do know, it is women. 193 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,164 I've been scoping chicks since I was in the third grade. 194 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,335 Scoping chicks? 195 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,637 I'm sure they'd be delighted to hear that. 196 00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,841 If I can make a scientific observation, 197 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,309 when it comes to women, 198 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,077 you don't know Jack, Zack. 199 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,883 - You want to bet? - Ah, you read my mind! 200 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,219 Now, I know you hate getting up early for my class, 201 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,522 so how would you like to be excused for the rest of the semester? 202 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,190 Huh! Yeah, right. 203 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,325 What's the catch? 204 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,061 I want you to do a field study on women. 205 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,963 And you can do it right here at CalU. 206 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,098 I want you to answer one question -- 207 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,401 what do women want? 208 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,704 Ha ha ha. What do women want? 209 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,339 - That's it? - That's it, man. 210 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,840 You come up with a scientific conclusion, 211 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,109 I'll give you a B and you can sleep late the rest of the semester. 212 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,744 - Are you serious? - Uh-huh. 213 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,013 All right. You're on. 214 00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,382 I want it by Friday. 215 00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:55,522 What do women want? 216 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,024 Who does this clown think he's dealing with? 217 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:03,263 All right, give me two cheeseburgers, two fries, 218 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,932 two chocolate shakes and two cherry pies. 219 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,601 Oh, do you want something? 220 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,237 Coke. Diet. 221 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,839 Small. 222 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,876 You know, I can't believe how hard it is to gain weight, Alex. 223 00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:19,546 I've been eating everything in sight and I've only put on a pound. 224 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:21,147 I hate you! 225 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,286 Ooh, ooh! Hi there! 226 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,988 I'm doing an anthropology field study on what women want. 227 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,924 What women want, take 27. 228 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,759 Quiet, everybody! 229 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,162 I don't know quite what to say. 230 00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:39,132 Oh, well for instance, uh, would you want to go out with me? 231 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,667 Maybe. 232 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,969 Excellent. Now, just for the record, 233 00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:44,838 would you please state your name and number? 234 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:49,008 I'm Tina. My phone number is 555-2083. 235 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,544 Wow, this zoom's really amazing, Zack. 236 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,913 She should really trim her nose hairs. 237 00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,617 Screech, please. 238 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,252 Just can it with the commentary. 239 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,454 You are unbelievable, you know that? 240 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,157 Professor Lasky gives you a great opportunity 241 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,059 and you use it to hit on women. 242 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,661 Excuse me, I'm doing serious research here. 243 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,097 Zack, driving down Sorority Row yelling, 244 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:14,534 "Send out your women!" is not serious research. 245 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,669 Oh, yeah? Wait 'til you see the Kappa Zeta footage. 246 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,139 They have very interesting bathing rituals. 247 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,740 Ugh! Forget it, Zack. 248 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,544 Hey, come on, this is going to be a groundbreaking study. 249 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,346 How many phone numbers do we have? 250 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:27,514 Eighteen. 251 00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,249 I love this project. 252 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,385 Sophomore year, I had a cracked rib, 253 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,787 a separated shoulder, and a ruptured spleen, 254 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,556 but I never missed a game. 255 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:37,891 Ow! 256 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,225 What's wrong? 257 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,760 Paper cut. 258 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,363 We got to stop for today. 259 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,231 Just tough it out, sir. 260 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,834 In publishing, you have to learn to play hurt. 261 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,536 Right. 262 00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:53,373 OK, on the field, I was a hero. 263 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,974 But off the field, 264 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,545 I still couldn't get up the nerve to ask out Jenny Stillwell. 265 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,413 Ooh, really? 266 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:01,848 That's good stuff. 267 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,149 Go on. 268 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,252 I-- I can't. It's just too personal. 269 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,221 Personal is what sells books. 270 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,456 Come on, Mike. You can tell me anything. 271 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,358 All right. 272 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:17,664 There I was, 20 years old and I still hadn't had my first date. 273 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,433 Ah ha ha! And I thought I was a geek! 274 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,504 And I am! 275 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,607 Strike that part from the book, 276 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,475 and make sure it never leaves this room. 277 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,678 Your secret is safe with me, sir. 278 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,947 You know else is a babe? 279 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,782 That guy Kevin in History class. 280 00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,117 Oh, he is cute, and oh, what a body. 281 00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,251 Uh-huh. 282 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,789 Yeah, speaking of bodies, what about Slater's? 283 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,092 Ha ha! 284 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:49,796 He is the best thing that ever happened to a pair of jeans! 285 00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,431 Mm, mm, mm! 286 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,367 So cute! 287 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,004 What? 288 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,373 I know I've been fighting it, 289 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,276 but I am madly in love with Zack. 290 00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,812 Mm, I know what you mean. 291 00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:07,680 I want him, too. 292 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,549 Bad. 293 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,920 You will have to fight me for him! 294 00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,722 Get in line! 295 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:19,325 Of course, his body isn't half as good as Slater's. 296 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,294 No way! 297 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,931 Ahh! 298 00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,036 What are you doing? 299 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,838 Serves you right for spying! 300 00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:34,941 I am not spying! I am doing scientific research! 301 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,342 Yeah, sure. 302 00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,846 Really, listen, I have to give Lasky this report by Friday, 303 00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,114 and I have nothing. 304 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,983 I don't know what it is, but women don't take me seriously. 305 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,353 What? 306 00:14:55,995 --> 00:15:00,033 So, in '87, I had 19 sacks, recovered 10 fumbles, 307 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,534 and I had three interceptions. 308 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:02,869 You got that, Screech? 309 00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,170 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 310 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:08,207 MVP, blah, blah, blah, Super Bowl ring, big yawn. 311 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,778 What? 312 00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:16,015 Well actually sir, I thought the personal stuff was more interesting. 313 00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:19,285 You know, the part about you not dating 'til you were 20? 314 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,187 I hate that part. 315 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:24,457 Well sir, as your editor, I suggest we put it in the book. 316 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,259 And have people laugh at me? 317 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,493 No way. 318 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,195 They won't laugh at you. 319 00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:30,930 What they'll see is a real person. 320 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,832 What they'll see is a real wimp. 321 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,434 Oh, they won't see a wimp -- 322 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,669 they'll see a guy just like me. 323 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,173 Oh, that makes me feel much better. 324 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,175 Sir, let me explain. 325 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,445 You see, if a cool guy like you had a little trouble with girls, 326 00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,247 just think how much hope it could give us regular guys! 327 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,283 You really think so? 328 00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:52,518 All right, maybe I will. 329 00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,287 Come on, let's hit the weights. 330 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,655 Oh, OK. 331 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:57,924 OK, remember what we learned yesterday? 332 00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,625 Arms straight, push from the shoulders. 333 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,027 Come on, give me five reps. 334 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,595 You got it, sir. 335 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:04,997 That's it, concentrate. 336 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,299 Come on, breathe. 337 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,201 Breathe, come on, feel the burn! 338 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,604 Phone call for you, Mr. Rogers. 339 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,840 She said she's Mikey's mommy. 340 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,410 Don't put this part in the book. 341 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,814 I feel the burn! 342 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,050 Oh! Oh, oh! 343 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,993 - Hey, you! - Hey, Kel. 344 00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:37,463 Hey, Kelly? We're close friends, right? 345 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,866 - Sure, Zack. Why? - It's this Lasky project. 346 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,200 I mean, I'm in trouble. 347 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,669 I don't know what is, but women won't open up to me. 348 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:46,672 Zack, no girl in her right mind is going to open up 349 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,441 to a guy who's been hitting on her. 350 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,942 And that's all you've been doing. 351 00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,345 Yeah, I guess you're right. 352 00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:55,782 It's just that, hitting on girls is like breathing to me. 353 00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,417 By the way, nice shorts! 354 00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,118 You see? 355 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:02,155 If you were really interested in listening to what we have to say, 356 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,357 you'd get some real responses. 357 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,959 Well, I'm really interested in you. 358 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:10,229 For starters, what do you want to do with your life? 359 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,466 Oh, well, I'm not sure. 360 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,369 I want to make a difference in people's lives somehow. 361 00:17:16,761 --> 00:17:18,529 Maybe a teacher or work in health care. 362 00:17:18,598 --> 00:17:19,666 Health care really? 363 00:17:19,742 --> 00:17:20,929 I didn't know you were interested in that. 364 00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:22,498 Yeah. I am. 365 00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,978 But, I also want to have fun and meet some new friends. 366 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,648 And I wouldn't mind having Leslie's wardrobe. 367 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:30,850 Is that so? 368 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,018 Yeah. 369 00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:34,353 But, you know, it's really hard coming to college 370 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,756 and competing with so many girls that have money. 371 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,691 I mean, I have to work at the Student Health Center 372 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,326 and really watch my pennies. 373 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,629 And sometimes I feel like I just don't belong here. 374 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,331 Really? 375 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:48,668 What about you, Alex? What do you want to do? 376 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,736 Does the camera bother you? 377 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,572 No, 378 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,374 the camera loves me, 379 00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,111 particularly from my left side. 380 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,147 With me, it's no big secret. 381 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:02,782 I want to be Meryl Streep. 382 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,952 I want an Oscar, an Emmy, a Tony, and a Luke Perry. 383 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,991 Well, that's great, but uh, what if you don't make it? 384 00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:13,826 Don't make it? 385 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:15,962 Well, I never thought about that. 386 00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:17,363 Well shut the camera off! 387 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,564 No more pictures! 388 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:19,832 You! Call my agent! 389 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,601 Wait a minute, I don't have an agent. 390 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,873 What about you, Leslie? What are your ambitions? 391 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,876 Well, in the Burke family, you're born with ambition. 392 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,378 It's issued right along with the trust fund. 393 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:36,115 My gosh, there's a library named after my family on this campus. 394 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:38,184 My parents put so much pressure on me, 395 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,986 I don't know what I want. 396 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,688 They're never going to see this tape, are they? 397 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,924 No. You have my word. 398 00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,193 Now, what is it you guys want from us? 399 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,095 I mean, what do women want from men? 400 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,183 Ha ha! 401 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,831 Where do we start? 402 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:55,468 Well, you guys always seem to have a hidden agenda. 403 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,837 And men are always sizing you up. 404 00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,473 Yeah, it's like you're the object of some kind of hunt. 405 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:04,143 I'd like to have a friendship with a guy not based on the physical. 406 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,445 I'd like a man who's really romantic. 407 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,848 Just once, I'd like to see a guy cry at something 408 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,683 other than a football game. 409 00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,186 I know it sounds simple, 410 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,422 but I want to be a mother and raise a family. 411 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:17,790 What do I want? 412 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,592 Anything chocolate. 413 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,561 My perfect guy? 414 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,130 Uh, I guess it really doesn't matter, 415 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:26,232 just as long as he hasn't done time. 416 00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:28,868 Intelligence. 417 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,436 Sincerity. 418 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,771 Kindness. 419 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,040 Men? Men are pigs. 420 00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,641 Who needs them? 421 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,476 Did I say Luke Perry? 422 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,612 I meant River Phoenix. 423 00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,751 Very interesting, Zack. 424 00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:49,188 Not bad, my boy, for your first field study. 425 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,357 Conclusions? 426 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,626 Uh, well, to tell you the truth sir, 427 00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,227 I'm more confused than ever. 428 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,164 I mean, I couldn't find the one thing that all women want. 429 00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,867 Guess they're just like guys. They want a lot of different things. 430 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,235 Bingo. 431 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,438 Took me 32 years, three dozen countries, 432 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,540 and an ex-wife to learn that. 433 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,176 Good work. 434 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:11,477 Thanks. 435 00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:13,646 Well, I'm a man of my word. 436 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,182 - You got your B. - Ah. 437 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,650 You can sleep in the rest of the semester. 438 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,884 All right, thank you, sir. 439 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,586 I'll never forget you for this. 440 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,557 Oh. by the way, if I give you the girls' swim team footage, 441 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,125 can you make it an A? 442 00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,327 Don't push your luck. 443 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,141 What are you doing? 444 00:20:42,216 --> 00:20:45,211 Coach called me last night and said our best guy came down with the flu. 445 00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:48,514 I can wrestle in his place if I get back down to my original weight class. 446 00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:51,217 So now I have to lose three pounds by 4:00. 447 00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:52,618 And I am starving. 448 00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:55,988 Ha! Now you know what it's to be a woman. 449 00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:08,234 I guess everybody's here who's going to be here. 450 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:11,170 All right, let's get started. 451 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,906 One of the most fascinating stories in anthropology 452 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:16,942 is Jane Goodall's 30-year study of the chimpanzees of Gombe. 453 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,612 Now, the intelligence of these guys is mind boggling. 454 00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:21,514 Their reasoning and language skills are incredible. 455 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:22,748 - They-- - Oh, yeah? 456 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:25,384 If they're so smart, how come they don't have cable TV? 457 00:21:26,012 --> 00:21:28,548 Well, well, Mr. Morris. 458 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,890 To what do we owe this pleasure? 459 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,059 You already got your B. 460 00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,628 I don't want a B. I want an A. 461 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,399 Well, in that case, son, sit down. 462 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:41,600 You're late. 463 00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:44,870 Well, the only reason I was late, sir, is because I stopped to buy your book. 464 00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:45,938 Ah, very good. 465 00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,339 You are going to find it very useful. 466 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,709 Oh, ho, ho, I already have. 467 00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:58,651 Stick around. It's going to be an interesting year. 468 00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,959 I feel the burn! 469 00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:09,095 Uh-oh. Uh-oh! 470 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,463 Oh!